霍金前妻谈离婚 荣誉毁了我们的婚姻(双语)
简·怀尔德与霍金的婚姻长达30年。霍金22岁刚从剑桥毕业时被医生诊断为运动神经元疾病,并被判生命只剩下两年的时间。是简怀尔德帮助霍金一起打破了医生的这个预言。
Now she has spoken about the severe problems caused by his growing renown, the pressure she came under to idolise him and her guilt at relying on their son Robert to care for his father when the boy was only ten。
日前怀尔德在一次访谈中讲述了在霍金成名的过程中,他们婚姻出现的问题、她身为大众科学偶像的妻子的压力,以及对让当时只有10岁的儿子罗伯特帮忙照顾父亲的内疚。
Her decision to leave Professor Hawking for choirmaster Jonathan Jones is also discussed in an interview with Radio Times, given to mark the release of the film The Theory Of Everything based on her memoir Travelling To Infinity and starring Eddie Redmayne as Hawking and Felicity Jones as Jane。
访谈中,她还谈到了离开霍金、和唱诗班指挥乔***·琼斯在一起的一些事情。本月,以她和霍金为原型、改编自她的回忆录的电影《万物理论》在影院上映,该片两位主要角色由演员埃迪·雷德梅恩和菲丽希缇·琼斯分别出演。
Miss Wilde, 70, said ‘the goddess Physics’ became ‘Stephen’s idol’ and he would sometimes spend ‘a whole weekend in his wheelchair, elbow resting on his knee like Rodin’s Thinker.
He wouldn’t take any notice of the children, or of me, and I would become very worried’。
今年70岁的简·怀尔德说,物理是霍金的女神和偶像,“他有时会花上整整一周的时间坐在轮椅中,摆出像罗丹的思想者雕塑那样的姿势思考。他对我或孩子们都不在意,我对此非常担心。”
In 1988, shortly after the publication of his book A Brief History Of Time, which has sold 10million copies in 40 languages and in which he explains how our universe began, Miss Wilde said ‘life became very complicated。
1988年,霍金的讲述宇宙如何起源的著作《时间简史》出版后,立刻被译成40多种语言,销量达到1000万,但怀尔德却说“生活从这时候开始混乱了。”
‘I rather felt that the family had been left behind. To me, Stephen was my husband and the father of my children; one does not say to one’s husband, “Oh, you’re so clever!
I must worship the ground under your feet, or in this case, wheels”.
I found this kind of sycophantic attitude – the attitude adopted by so many people around Stephen – exceptionally frustrating.’
“我觉得家庭完全被他丢在了脑后。对我而言,斯蒂芬是我的丈夫、孩子们的父亲;不会有女人对她的丈夫说‘天哪,你好聪明,我简直拜倒在你的脚或是轮椅下了。’但是我发现斯蒂芬周围却存在很多这样的崇拜者说这样的奉承话,这让人非常失望。”
Professor Hawking’s condition has left him in a wheelchair for almost half a century and able to communicate only through a voice synthesizer operated by a muscle in his cheek。
霍金教授的身体状况使得他已经在轮椅上生活了近半个世纪的时间,而且只能通过由脸颊肌肉控制的声音合成器来同外界交流。
Miss Wilde has three children, Robert, Lucy, and Tim, with Professor Hawking, now 72. As his health deteriorated, they shunned help from carers for many years and Miss Wilde confesses she turned to Robert, the eldest child。
怀尔德和霍金育有三个孩子,罗伯特、露西和蒂姆。霍金的健康状况不断恶化,但他们多年来一直没有接受护理人员的帮助,怀尔德说她开始转向大儿子罗伯特寻求帮助。
She said: ‘The hardest thing was that in my exhaustion I grew to depend on Robert, when he was only about ten years old.
Our gorgeous child who was so willing to help was having to do things for his father that children really shouldn’t have to。
她说:“最困难的事情是当我感到无法应付的时候,我转向依靠当时只有10岁的罗伯特。我们的儿子是如此坚强、懂事,帮我照顾他的父亲,做了许多这个年龄的孩子本不应该做的事情。”
‘Stephen didn’t want to admit that we needed “outside” help because every stage of deterioration – walking with a stick, having to be fed, having to resort to a wheelchair – hit him very hard.
Naturally he was in denial but also his mind was so deeply involved with the intellectual realms of research into the origins of the universe that he did not have time to think about more mundane matters.
’
“斯蒂芬并不想承认我们需要外界的帮助,因为病情的每一步恶化,从依靠拐杖行走到需要人喂食再到不得不坐在轮椅上,这些都对他打击很大。他拒绝接受现实,他的所有精力都在物理上,把所有时间都放在思考宇宙起源的问题上,根本没心思再想琐碎的生活小事。”
When carers were eventually brought in, the scenario was not as Miss Wilde had hoped: ‘I expected that carers came into the home to help look after the disabled person and respect the rest of the family.
Very few of them did that. I was desperate; I didn’t think I could carry on, because I was so drained.’
最终当护理人员来家里帮忙的时候,一切与怀尔德所希望的并不相同:“我希望护理人员来家里能帮助照看病人且尊重家里的其他成员。但很少有人是这样子的。我当时很绝望,我觉得我撑不下去了,因为我已经精疲力竭了。”
She met musician Jonathan Jones through singing in a church choir and a deep friendship followed。
之后她在教堂唱诗班里遇到了音乐家乔***·琼斯,一段深厚的友谊就这样展开了。
Realising they were drawn to each other, she wrestled with her feelings and the tie to Professor Hawking she did not feel able to sever.
She said: ‘It would have been easier, in some ways, simply to have walked away, but I could not contemplate doing that because I had devoted myself to Stephen and the children for so long.
’
意识到两人都互有好感之后,怀尔德内心非常挣扎,考虑自己真实感受的同时还需要考虑霍金教授。她说:“其实事情可以很简单,我直接离开就好,但是我不能那么做,因为这么长时间以来我已经把全部精力都放在霍金和孩子们身上了。”
Miss Wilde hints a third party may eventually have caused the breakdown of her marriage, saying: ‘The end of the marriage was very traumatic.
It was predictable that someone would exploit the situation and tell Stephen that he shouldn’t be putting up with such an arrangement.’
怀尔德暗示是第三者最终使他们的婚姻走向结束,“离婚的时候非常痛苦。可以猜到应该是有人利用了当时的情况,跟霍金说他不能再忍受这样的安排。”
She separated from Professor Hawking in 1990 and they later divorced. He went on to marry his carer, Elaine Mason, in 1995, and their marriage, which ended after 11 years, was dogged by allegations that Miss Mason physically abused him – claims he has always denied。
1990年,怀尔德和霍金分开,之后便离婚了。1995年,霍金娶了他的护理人员伊莲·梅森。霍金的第二次婚姻持续了11年之后结束了,据称是因为梅森对霍金施行家庭暴力,但霍金对此否认。
Miss Wilde married Mr Jones in 1997 but says she always remained in Professor Hawking’s life: ‘After all the years that Stephen and I were together, all we had achieved together and the three children we had had together, I still felt that I was needed in a rather ill-defined, protective way。
怀尔德和琼斯在1997年结婚,但她并没有从霍金的生活中消失:“我和斯蒂芬在一起的所有日子,我们一起努力获得的所有东西,还有我们的三个孩子,这些都让我觉得我不可能完全离开他。”
‘After Stephen’s second divorce, it became possible for us to communicate again. He lives ten minutes from us and I call in every so often to discuss family matters.’
“斯蒂芬第二次婚姻结束后,我们又一次可以沟通交流了。他居住的地方离我家只需要十分钟的路程,我经常去找他谈论一些家庭上的事情。”
